Thursday, April 24, 2014

Love Without End

Lately, it has been very difficult for me to love others. Unbelievably hard. I've been planning for a wedding, working part-time at The Woodsman and full-time subbing at a school in Fort Smith. I'm not sure about you, but I rely too much on others opinions of me. It wears me down. I strive so hard to be the best that I can be towards that person. Whatever I think their standards for me are, I can do nothing but try and achieve those standards.

Today I learned a tough lesson. To be like Christ means to LOVE regardless of the love that I receive. I honestly don't think most people understand this fully until they literally make themselves love someone whom they know will never love them back. I'm not talking about "the idea of someone" either. I can't love the person I think they will be. I have to love people for who they are now. Not for their potential either... their raw, present self.

Jesus loves right now. He doesn't love based on what we'll be when we get saved. He doesn't love based on potential either. He loves simply because that's what he is. LOVE. He just loves, at all times, effortlessly, endlessly and graciously.

I haven't ever really felt God calling me to do something difficult. Usually, what he is teaching me I know that I can do. If I put myself aside, I can be patient. If I put myself aside, I can serve others. But to love someone whom I know will most likely never repay that love is the hardest thing I think I can think of.

That's heavy. To love someone whom will never love you back. Whom doesn't care that you're pouring your heart and soul into them. To love someone simply because you do. You can't explain it.. .you just do. They don't deserve it, nor will they ever earn it... you just love.

I know that God is asking that of me. With every waking morning... knowing that I'll face twenty-five faces of children who I hope to be apart of their story one day, yet will never love me, is heart breaking. It makes me cry. I want them to love me so badly. I want them to feel the great amount of love that I have for them. But they may never be able to do that.

Regardless... I love. I love because He loves me. It's the outpouring of my heart and the song of my soul. I simply respond in a way that I'm treated. I'm unconditionally loved, so I must unconditionally love. 

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